The summertime is arguably the best season of the year. From the start of beach season on Memorial day to the big summer kick – off celebrations on the 4th of July to those last minute summer getaways, we Americans love a reason to party!
Celebrating the nation’s independence typically means gearing up for a 3-day weekend, food, booze, friends, and if you’re lucky, getting lucky. *Cue Daft Punk & Pharrell* So to keep you prepared for the wild weekend ahead, we’re rounding up the top 5 ways to survive using our favorite type of protection – condoms! (And a few other things you may need.) However you choose to celebrate this Independence Day, remember to be safe and have a sexy time!
1) For the outdoorsy type: Quench your thirst with this expandable water container
In case you didn’t know, condoms make a great expandable water container. If camping out in the woods is your idea of a great time, then you’ll definitely need some rubber (and some OFF) to keep your skin bite and bug free!
2) For the beachgoers: Sand repellant
Some like it hot, and some like it…well…sandy. If you’re planning a beach getaway this 4th of July and you anticipate having some frisky fun with your SO while lounging on the sand, then rubbers are a must for your weekend survival kit! Imagine sand in your lady parts? Ouch! Or even better, sand in his manhole? Doesn’t sound fun, I know. Let’s not forget the friendly crabs in the sand…
3) For the pool party aficionados: Condom Flotation device
Okay, not really. But I’m sure that you you put enough of them together, you can replicate that rubber duck in no time! Although we wouldn’t recommend the condom flotation device, we do
4) For the grillers: Heat repellant
If you’re like me, then the perfect holiday means spending time with friends and injecting a little good music, good drinks, and good food! With the perfect combo coupled with some great weather, things can get pretty heated pretty quickly. For that, you will need some protection against that kind of heat! (And by heat we mean, passionate backyard sex, of course!)
5) For the festival goers: Mud repellant
Okay, are you seeing a pattern here? And no, we’re not referring to the friskiness just about anywhere. Condoms serve as a repellent for practically anything! (Wondering: does lube serve as a bug repellant? Will report back on that.) Back to the topic at hand, if you’re a hardcore festival goer in the summer, chances are you’ve found yourself in some muddy situations a time or time. If you’re like the woman below and mud turns you on, then you will positively need some condoms to protect you from that muddy sex that’s coming your way!
How are you celebrating the 4th? Will it involve beaches, pools, the woods, grilling, or mud? Let us know below, and have a fantastic long weekend!*
*Warning: please exercise the gift of common sense and do not depend on condoms to prevent disease and or infections in the face of bad decisions (ie: sex in the mud).